


Will you stay?

by Crepuscolaria



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Ed can do alkahestry, Happy Ending, Insecure Ed, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crepuscolaria/pseuds/Crepuscolaria
Summary: Ed is scared of setting down and finding out how his relationship could develop. Roy is patient until he is not.-----“Edward.”He always makes the same mistake.He's like a mermaid or some shit. He can't resist His voice.So he turns around and finds himself rooted to the spot, a pair of dark, empty eyes looking right at his own.“Just go.”
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 116





	Will you stay?

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is set in the manga universe, after the final battle.  
> Ed learns Alkahestry in this one even if it's not something that is essential to the plot...I don't know if it actually makes sense for Ed to still be able to use Alkahestry after sacrificing his Gate, but hey, a girl can dream.  
> There's some swearing (mostly Ed), mentions of sex and torture (not at the same time and not graphic)...the torture is just hinted at in a couple of lines, but if you think you'd prefer not to see it al all, please let me know so I can send you an edited version <3

Never in his wildest dream he would have imagined this.  
A night in Roy Mustang's arms.  
His face is on fire, while the man looks down at him smiling the warmest smile ever.

“Are you all right?”  
Ed isn't sure he still has a voice after all the screaming and the strange knot in his throat, so he just nods.  
A finger caresses lightly his cheekbone, making him shiver.

“I would love you to stay the night, will you? I can make you breakfast...”

The murmur is followed by a feathery kiss on his collarbone and a wry, hopeful smile.  
Ed is suddenly sick. And terrified.  
His stomach is contracting in a small ball of nerves.  
He searches in Roy's eyes an answer, but the terror only increases.  
It's too much.  
Too much.  
Too fucking much.  
He wants this so bad it's tearing him apart from the inside.  
But it can’t be real. It seems so easy, too easy.

“I'm sorry...i...i need to go...”  
He pushes the man to free himself. There's a roaring in his ears, like the sea during a storm.  
Roy looks confused and hurt for a moment and Ed feels terrible because it's his fault.  
But this is exactly the point. He has the tendency to ruin everything.  
He can’t have this. Whatever this is, he can see warning signs flashing in his mind.

“...We need to catch the last train to Resembool...Al wants to go back to rest and regain his strength, he already said his goodbyes to the team this afternoon….and i promised him so...”

He tries to be reassuring, while getting out of bed.

“Oh, i understand…”

There’s a pause and Ed wishes he could interpret it, read the words Roy (God this is still so strange…) is keeping inside. Isn’t he going to ask him to stay? Would it make a difference?  
No, it wouldn’t. Edward knows better...He needs to do the sensible thing, for both of them.

“Do you need a ride...? No pun intended...”

The fact is: he is so beautiful, unabashedly naked in the bed, with a grin on the plump lips.  
They're still red from all the kissing.  
Ed needs to get out of here right this fucking second.

“Hilarious Mustang...” He comments, trying to stop the shivering, while leaning over to kiss him ( _one last time, i swear, please, only one last time_ )

He gets up from the bed, ignoring the strangled groan of protest coming from the man that flops back down on the sheets.  
Roy is silent while he dresses, but when he is putting on his coat, he gets up, still completely unpreoccupied with his nakedness.

“Edward...”

He is so weak.  
He gazes up at the man, feeling His pale, elegant, hands on his cheeks.

“Don’t be a stranger, ok…?”

\----------

Ed looks out at the garden.  
The twins are playing around under the watchful eye of Lan Fan.  
Mingyu and Yuanjun are only one year old, so they’re actually just tumbling in the grass, making silly bumbling noises.  
He can see the girl smile, bright and adoring, as if they were her own.  
He will never understand how she can live happily, loving a man that keeps collecting wives and sons while she looks from the shadows.  
But she does and Edward feels so small and...well, greedy.  
He wants it all. He is incapable of loving like that.  
That’s why he made the choice of staying away.  
Roy has greater goals, he can’t ruin that. Can’t risk being that happy and then lose it, either.  
Still, it hurts like a motherfucker when he lets himself think back to that night.  
It could have been just a one time thing, some sort of game for the man.  
But for him...he keeps dreaming about their moments together. Even after two years, he can’t help the quickening of his heartbeat when he thinks about Roy.

“Ed...are you even listening to me?”

He turns back towards the girl, a sheepish smile at the ready.

“I’m sorry May...just got distracted for a moment…”

He admits.  
May sighs, closing the book. Ed knows it is the signal for “end of lesson”.  
She never expresses anger or annoyance when his mind wanders during a studying session.  
She acts so much older and wiser than her age....Just like Al did.  
Ed loves her like a little sister.

“You had that look on your face...You know you can go back anytime, right?”

It’s his turn to sigh now.  
He never explained to her why he gets “that look”...she has this idea he misses Al, and in a more abstract way being in Amestris.  
And it is not untrue. But it isn’t all the truth.

“I know, May-chan...But i’m still not sure my alkahestry is any good…”

Finding out he could practice alkahestry at all has been a shock.  
He came to Xing just to research it, not expecting to be able to use it after losing his alchemy.  
Ed couldn’t pass up the opportunity and it made his stay longer than expected.  
It was hard at first. His mind kept going back to the principles and circles he knew as the back of his hands. But now...now he is good. He knows it.  
But going back home is an hazard.  
Al has finally asked Winry to marry him and he doesn’t want to intrude on their happiness, moping at home.  
Looking at them, he would only think about Roy more and more and he would end up taking a train to Central on an impulse.  
And look how well his instinct has guided him in the past. Thanks, but no thanks.

“You’re full of bullshit, Edward Elric.”

“Hey! Who taught you manners, uh?”

\----------

In the end, it is precisely Al’s marriage that brings him back, six months later.  
May is with him, Ling could not leave the country and he refused to let Lan Fan go. Greedy asshole.

Al is a ball of nerves. It is so uncharacteristic that he is starting to worry.  
He keeps fiddling with his bowtie (which is already perfect), looking at him in the mirror like he doesn’t know what to do.

“Al....is everything alright? You know...if you changed your mind...Well i’m not sure i can stop Win if she decides to kill you, but i’m sure she loves you too much to actually try…”

Ed tries to reassure his little brother, but without much success.  
Al starts biting his bottom lip, without saying anything.

“Ok, something is wrong...just spill it out.”

Al sights an explosive sigh. Then turns to face him.

“I invited the team.”

Ed blinks once. Then twice.

“That was all…?”

He asks, with a sense of foreboding crawling up behind his neck.  
Al looks like he is gonna pop a tendon any moment now, he is so tense.

“The whole team...General Mustang included.”

Well, shit.

\----------

He was doing so well. Fuck.  
He was careful to drink just a couple of glasses of wine, to be sensible and to not do something extremely stupid under the influence of alchol.  
But Roy caughts him alone in the hallway and pushes him against the wall, caging him in.  
His brain goes out like a freaking firework.

“Two years and half, Fullmetal...almost three fucking years…”

The growl makes him quiver.

Why the hell are his hands grappling at His jacket? Ah right, he doesn’t have knees, oh well…

“Not here...not now...please…”

He finds the will to murmur.  
He doesn’t want to discuss this during his little brother and best friend's marriage party.  
Roy looks at him with a deep furrow in his beautiful brow, then pushes forward for the most aggressive kiss in the history of ever.  
It feels like a war campaign, the man pushing his tongue into his mouth as if he is going to destroy all opponents and conquer it.  
Ed can’t breathe, but he feels light as air for the first time in two years, with his hands knotted in the short black locks.  
When finally Roy relents, he stays in his personal space, looming over him even if they’re almost the same height now.

“You will come find me after the party...Are we understood?”

The man is using his General-voice, so it is a knee-jerk reaction to push him in protest.

“You’re not my commanding officer anymore, don’t order me around!”

Roy is silent for a second. Then he turns around.

“Room number 4.”

There’s no need to say where. There’s just one inn in Resembool.

\----------

That’s where Ed goes after the party.  
There’s some screaming involved. And pushing each other. And a couple of fists. Not to mention the hair pulling.  
The last one changes the mood pretty quickly.

Angry sex happens and Ed learns that it is actually a thing.  
Really pleasant and everything....but Roy...  
He is looking at him with something like hope in his eyes, his shoulders tense.

“Will you stay this time...?”

One of his hands is splayed possessively on his stomach.  
Can he feel it turn into knots? Gross.  
Ed must be silent a couple too many seconds, because Roy’s hand shifts, coming to rest on his cheek to gently turn his face towards him.

“Edward...please, stay…”

How much does it cost him to ask like that?  
Ed can’t meet his eyes.

“I need to go back…”

Roy closes his eyes, breathing deeply.  
They stay like that for a couple of minutes.  
Then the man grabs his arm, pulling him in an embrace.

“Ok, ok....i get it...if you need to, then go...but please, don’t...don’t vanish…”

Ed wants to cry.  
He just wants to bury his face in Roy’s neck and never leave this room.  
But that’s exactly the problem.  
They can’t live in each other's pocket, closed off from the rest of the world.  
Roy has so many responsibilities. And he…? What would he do in Central? Wait for him at home? Wouldn’t he get in his way? Or get annoyed?  
Are they actually any good for each other?  
The little ordinary things could destroy everything.  
The what ifs are bitches.  
And Ed is in too fucking deep.  
So he goes.

\----------

He travels a lot.  
He goes to Aerugo first. Then to Creta.  
There’s a guy at the inn where he stays, that keeps flirting with him.  
He is nicely built, with light brown curly hair and green eyes. His jaw is squared and his nose is really straight, with little freckles.  
He is funny, and kind, and bright.  
He is not Roy. And Ed makes it pretty clear, real fast, that he is not interested.

When he goes back to Central, he tells Roy about him to be a little shit.  
That night, the man pounds into him like he wants to leave a brand inside him.  
Afterwards though, he keeps touching his hair and peppering kisses on his face.

“Will you stay…?”

He asks again. His voice is flat. Roy hides his feelings really well after the sex.  
It’s like he pours everything in the act, knowing that it is permitted in that moment, but not later, not during the goodbyes.

\----------

He keeps asking, time and again.  
 _Will you stay?_  
To the point that Ed asks himself the same, before coming back to Central each time in the next couple of years.  
 _Will you stay?_  
 _Will you stay?_  
 _Will you stay?_

Then he asks: _Why won’t you stay?_  
And Edward doesn’t know how to answer.  
He wants to scream and tear his hair from his head.  
He doesn’t know how to explain to this man that keeps waiting for him that he is terrified, because at the beginning he thought it was just a silly infatuation and he was so, so wrong.  
Now he wants to stay so much it is a physical need, but he doesn’t know how to build a home for himself again and he will make it wrong someway and destroy everything...and then what?  
He will have nothing then.  
So he just promises “I’ll come back” and Roy kisses him.

\--------

Winry gives birth to a baby girl.  
They call her June and she is bright and warm as summer days.  
He comes back to Resembool to meet her and he falls in love at first sight.

“Al…”

He murmurs, taking her in his arms for the first time.  
Al smiles, proud and affectionate.

“I know, she is beautiful, isn’t she?”

And he looks just like Hughes for a second and Ed is overwhelmed after leaving Roy for the umpteenth time.  
He hides his face, against his nephew's little smooth head, sobbing for the first time in years.

“Oh my god...Win!”

Al calls, panicking, hugging his brother and his daughter not knowing what else to do.

“What...did she break him? Give her back dummy...”

She extracts the baby from Ed’s arms, cooing probably at her, but he wouldn’t swear on it.  
She leaves the nursery, leaving them alone.  
Al makes shushing noises that should actually offend him, but that soothe him, while pushing his big brother towards the rocking chair, the only available item to sit on, beside the crib.  
And he would never put Ed in the crib.

“Come on...what’s wrong big brother?”

And Edward honest to god wails, before taking deep breaths and spilling the beans.

\----------

Ed gets up from the bad and starts to look for his clothes on the floor.  
The room is eerily silent except for the dull thud of his footsteps, and the whispering of the silk bed sheets. The only hint that the bed occupant is shifting.  
Ed can feel His eyes burning on his skin. The air is stale and hot, smelling of sex. Is the flame in His eyes eating up all the oxygen? He can't breathe.  
He wears his clothes hastily. He doesn’t want to have this conversation naked...he needs what little control he can get to keep his thoughts straight and explain himself as good as possible to Roy. After all this time...he deserves only the best of words and Ed is nervous as hell but he is gonna tell him about his feelings this time.  
He is just starting to mumble about how he has something to tell when he is interrupted.

“Edward.”

He always makes the same mistake.  
He's like a mermaid or some shit. He can't resist His voice.  
So he turns around and finds himself rooted to the spot, a pair of dark, empty eyes looking right at his own.

“Just go.”

The command is like a knife in his gut (he has firsthand experience for the comparison).  
He swallows, chills running down his spine.  
Roy is not asking him to stay.  
The cold turns to numbness fast, shutting down his brain.  
He just nods and doesn't move for another second, searching the expression on the man's face for a hint, something that will tell him what’s the right thing to do. Not much to observe really.  
He has always had the best poker face.

“See you...”

He murmurs, before fleeing.

\----------

It was a mistake.  
He needs to stop thinking his little brother is the source of everything good and brilliant.  
 _If you miss him so much then go, find him and tell him you’re ready to stay_. Yeah. Great advice.  
He puts his forehead against the train window.  
It is unfair to fault Al for what was a sensible advice.  
This mess was his doing and his alone. He pulled the rope one time too many.  
And Roy pulled the rug from under his feet in defence.

\----------

Edward didn’t plan to stay in Drachma for a whole year.  
He definitely didn’t plan to be abducted for ten months of his stay.  
Pissed doesn’t even come near to describing how he feels, forced to stay in a bed, in Fort Briggs, waiting for Winry and Al to come bring him a new leg.  
He still doesn’t know what the hell his dimwit tormentors hoped to get from him.  
Actually he knows.  
They wanted information about the military. About the Fuhrer especially.  
What he doesn’t know is how the fuck could they think for a second he would give them what they wanted.

It’s been little more than a year since he last saw Roy, but nothing has changed.  
He still thinks about him over and over, like a scab he can’t leave alone.  
Wherever he goes he researches and whenever he finds something useful his first thought is _could this help Roy in any way?_  
Anytime somebody manifests interest in him he declines because, even if he is not waiting for him anymore, he only wants Roy.

So, when the door clicks and Roy comes in, he thinks it must be some kind of boredom induced hallucination.  
He is so ready to scream for somebody to let him out of this room, even if it means jumping around on one leg, or walking on his hands. Boredom is not good on his nerves.  
But even if he blinks a couple of times, the image doesn’t vanish.

It’s Roy. For real.  
In flesh and blood...probably. He looks paler than ever. Only the tip of his nose has some color, ruining somewhat the mighty-ruler facade.  
He dismisses the guard and closes the door, before turning back to face him.

“Edward…”

It’s just a greeting, nothing more.  
And probably it’s just Brigg’s damn cold that is making him shiver.

“Fuhrer Mustang…”

Ed replies, trying to keep some kind of composure.  
Roy comes to sit on the chair beside the bed. He keeps his hands on his lap, fingers twined, back straight.

“Did they hurt you?”

The question is direct to the point. Which means he knows exactly what happened.  
He should have expected this, really.  
Olivier is still pissed with Roy for taking the Fuhrership, but under all the hostility she respects him enough to let him know she found his....ok, no. Better not go there.

“Just some scratches…”

Ed admits, shrugging his shoulders.

“They broke your leg…”

Roy observes, just to be contrary probably.  
There’s a medical record on the bedside table that says in excruciating detail that so much more happened. But he definitely is not going to point it out.

“Yeah...and I broke the nose of two of them, and a third probably won’t have children because of me...”

He replies instead.  
The man doesn't seem to find any of it funny.  
There’s an embarrassing bit of silence, where they just stare at each other.  
Then Roy moves his eyes down to his neck, his collarbones and down to his fee...foot.

“You have been there for how long…? Ten months? And you just got scratches and a broken automail?”

There’s an undertone of warning in his voice.  
Something like _don’t try to bullshit me_  
So, it looks like Olivier just couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

“She told you.”

It’s not a question.  
Roy leans forward.

“What. Did. They. Do. Now, Edward.”

He sights.  
Then he pulls up his shirt.  
His right hip is bright pink, puckered and shiny.  
The fuckers thought it funny, after having tried without success other methods, to roast him for information about the Fire Alchemist.  
But the damage is so much less than it could have been. Alkahestry was helpful in healing back most of the skin. The hip remains, but the rest of his torso is as good as new...beside the scarring from the old automail.

Roy is silent, then he lets his head drop back, staring at the ceiling.

“Riza shouldn’t have stopped me.”

It’s just a murmur, but Ed hears it loud and clear, as well as the anger inside those words.

“From doing what?”

He has some hypotheses but he has to ask.  
Roy looks at him with half lidded eyes, without putting his head back straight.

“From incinerating them.”

Well. He should have known.  
He has seen what happens to Roy when somebody takes something from him.  
Ed is relieved Hawkeye stopped him.

“You promised to stop ghosting out on me.”

The scolding is unexpected.  
Roy getting up, to come sit beside him on the bed, even more.

“It wasn’t my fault...”

He manages tense and completely unprepared for this meeting.  
Roy is silent, staring at him and fiddling with his hands, as if he doesn’t know where to put them.

“I thought it was because of me.”

The admission is nothing more than a murmur, while his mask crumbles to pieces.  
He leans forward, touching their foreheads and finally, finally, putting His hands on his cheeks.

“I told you to go...and you fucking disappeared for a fucking year, Edward…”

The swearing is a bad sign. The double swearing means doom.  
Ed is so happy to have him in his space, and so destroyed by His hurting that he doesn’t know what to do.

“Again...not my fault…”

He tries for funny, but it comes out strangled.  
He moves slowly, as if Roy is a wild animal not to be spooked. And in a way it’s exactly like that at the moment.  
Ed runs a hand through His glorious, silky hair, massaging His scalp.

“It wasn’t your fault either, Roy…”

The man closes his eyes, sighting, His breath ghosting on Ed’s lips.  
God, he missed him so much.

“I can’t do this anymore, Ed…I will ask you one last time...please, will you stay?”

Ed stops.  
Roy’s hands on his face are trembling.  
He made this man suffer for his stupid fears and almost lost him.  
He is still scared, but he is even so tired of running around.

“Let’s go home…”

Roy opens his eyes to stare at him in surprise.  
He doesn't ask silly questions like _are you serious?_ because he knows he would never joke on this. On them.  
God there really is a them now, isn’t there?

\----------

Six months after the Drachma incident, he resumes his travelling.  
Roy is not happy.  
Well, it serves him right for picking Edward as the new ambassador for Amestris.  
A career in diplomacy. Havoc and Breda are still laughing.

Now though, when he goes on a trip, he always has his keys in his pocket.  
There’s a silver medallion keyring in the shape of a house attached to them.  
Inside there’re just two words.  
 _Come back._


End file.
